Some steps forward, some steps back

I cannot wait to feel fully comfortable at this. I can’t wait to be like Kyle.

Today I messed up the first patient at sign-out dramatically. I was embarrassed. I got over i and still participated. Net sum not bad.

During the OR, I forgot how to put on the light handles and Steppacher had to take over. He laughed at me when I messed up a basic part of the case that he had just shown me. And then I redeemed myself slightly by figuring out the intention behind another part. Terrible. Net sum terrible.

In the cath lab, I forgot how to do a basic skin junction suture. And then I did the last 2 sutures well. Net sum: how am I still terrible will I ever feel natural?

It’s gratifying and frustrating and terrifying and annoying.

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