Shame

What a hard hard week it’s been. And I still have one call day left this week.

I think, what I need the most, is someone to tell me that I can do this. That they felt how I feel. That they weren’t perfect, or even great, or even good sometimes, and they still made it. I need someone to tell me that my fears aren’t totally founded. That it’s ok to feel like this.

Instead, I am paranoid as hell. Every mistake, every slip-up, every moment of forgetfulness, every simple suture I mess up. Everything eats away at me.

Dr. Yoo told me to be kind to myself. I never thought it would be so hard.