The Thoughts They Carry – Part 1

In my work, I have to approach trauma patients about PTSD or depression. While doing my best to preserve anonymity, I am going to record some of the things they tell me over the next few months. Paraphrasing is prioritized over accuracy to voice. 


 

“I do blame myself. I shouldn’t have left the house that day… I knew what was going to happen, but I didn’t react….It happened instantly, like there was no time to react. I saw him emerge and then felt the bullet rip through my leg…I kept crawling away…I couldn’t see his face, but I can see him standing over me, I can see him pointing the gun and standing over me.”


“This isn’t a good time for this…I’ve got so much going on… my dad is ill, my friend moved out west…my dad’s sisters and they’re all calling me and blaming me. None of them are asking about me.”


“Oh I don’t think I’ll get PTSD or depression. I’m a strong person.”


“Oh I don’t think I’ll get PTSD or depression. I’m a Religious person. God protects me.”


“Oh I don’t think I’ll get PTSD or depression. I’m a good person. I volunteer at my local little league.”


“Oh I don’t think I’ll get PTSD or depression. But I can help if it’ll help others.”


“Oh I don’t think I’ll get PTSD or depression. I’ve been in accidents before. Twenty years ago, I crashed my spouse’s sports car. Beautiful, red car. It got t-boned while I was driving. Yeah, and I’ve been fine after that. Never affected me. This time, I crashed my sedan. I brought a sedan after crashing her sports car – I couldn’t bear to drive anything nice or fancy. Now, maybe I’ll buy an SUV or tank or something.”

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